How Can Wanking Help Make a Baby?

Although initially it may seem counter productive, male masturbation is quite possibly an aid for conception.

Men produce around three million sperm EACH day, and assuming they don’t want to get three million women pregnant each day the vast majority of sperm cells are simply taking up space in the testes.

Sperm cells only remain viable for up to a week after production, and some scientists argue that the youngest and most recently produced sperm are more efficient for conception than their elder relatives.  In this school of thought, masturbation would be an evolved adaptive strategy that supports more successful insemination.

Evolutionary Biologists Baker and Bellis reckon younger sperm may be better at travelling through the female tract, and once arrived at a good destination for fertilisation they should be able to live longer and put up a better fight in terms of sperm competition, and additionally may have enhanced fertility.

In order to test their theory Baker and Bellis carried out an inspired study that used one of my favourite ever measured variables: ‘vaginal flowback’. 

Flowback is what falls out of the vagina 5-120 minutes after it has been ejaculated in, and is essentially a portion of the male ejaculate that is vetoed by the woman's body.

The scientists had heterosexual couples provide them with samples of flowback that they had collected post-bone.  It was found that the number of sperm present in the vaginal flowback samples significantly increased the longer it had been since the mans latest wank.  Relative volume of semen as a result of time since last ejaculation was controlled for, as on average the longer it has been… the more seminal fluid is released in general.   

So Baker and Bellis’s flowback data supports the theory that males regularly masturbating to ejaculation is an ingenious adaptive tool evolutionarily designed to produce more babies.

And if you ask me, it’s pretty cool that the evidence of your boyfriends wanking frequency can be identified in your own vaginal flowback.  But no one ever asks me.