Persistent Bacterial Vag

I’ve been having recurrent bacterial vaginosis for basically the entire last year. Every time the symptoms appear I see my doctor and he gives me a prescription, the BV clears up but returns a few weeks later and the cycle starts again.

I started seeing someone about 6 months ago and it’s beginning to get more serious.  He’s really great and the sex has been mostly amazing, but the problem is that the BV sometimes gets in the way. In the past I have just said I’m on my period to avoid having sex when I have a flair up, but now that we’re seeing each other more frequently that excuse can’t work all the time. I’m finding myself telling him that I’m not in the mood or I’m tired a lot of the time and I feel like it’s ruining the start of this new relationship and I don’t know how to save it. I have in the past given in and had sex with BV, but it always makes my symptoms worse the next day.

So I’m wondering; how can I decline sex without making my boyfriend feel rejected? And do you have any advice for getting rid of persistent BV?

FOOT FETISH LIAR

My boyfriend has what I guess could be described as a foot fetish? I'm a straight female in my early twenties and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 6 months. Everything is great except for this one thing I'm having an issue with. I work a job where I'm on my feet most of the day and my boyfriend would give me regular foot massages to alleviate some of the tension. I loved this part of our relationship until recently when he admitted to me that he has a foot fetish. That meant he wasn't giving me these massages for me but rather because it turned him on. I just can't get over the fact that he lied to me for so long while he was doing this. Now I don't want him to even touch my feet at all. How do we move on from this?

How can my fuck buddy make me orgasm? (plus vibrator struggle)

I've been sleeping with my fuck buddy for about a year now and I've never orgasmed but he cums every time we have sex. The sex is amazing, the best I've ever had. He's older than me and far more experienced than me and he puts in a lot of effort to make sure it feels good. In certain positions he'll rub my clit and focuses mostly on the clit when he's fingering me and giving me oral but even so it never happens. I recently bought a vibrator and had my first ever orgasm at the age of 22, so I know what it's supposed to feel like but recently ever time I use it I struggle to reach orgasm. The feelings get too intense and I struggle to hold my vibrator to continue the sensation which is very frustrating. Do you have any advice how I can overcome both of these issues?

Posted on June 4, 2018 and filed under FEMALE ORGASM, SEX TOYS, FUCK BUDDIES.

My boyfriend takes over an hour to come and my vagina is sore

Q

Me and my boyfriend are in our early twenties and have a bit of an unusual problem. He lasts too long… It always takes over an hour of sex for him to cum and the same thing with blowjobs. He gets tired and I get sore and to be honest, after about half an hour I'm losing interest. It also occasionally makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong like I'm not being sexy enough.  He does stay hard most of the time though, so it doesn’t seem like he’s not aroused. We can’t continue this way because it is affecting how often we have sex now because we know it’s going to take ages, and I can’t have sex for that long every day. What can we do? We have already tried having him not masturbate for a few days before hand and also watching porn during sex to see if that speeds things up, but neither has worked at all. I've had the issue of men finishing too quickly before and I never knew the opposite could be a problem too.

A

We feel your pain girl. There’s a lot of focus on men trying to last longer. But get boned for an hour a day for a week and you will be praying for a little premature ejaculation. When people want a long sex session that’s usually because they want more room for teasing and foreplay and other fun stuff. Not because they want to get pounded non-stop all day. That’s very repetitive and quite traumatic for the orifice.

Sex is also best with some variety. You want to have marathons, half marathons, sprints and relaxing strolls on the menu. A marathon every day might kill you.

Is your boyfriend on any medications that could be impacting his ejaculation? Is he a drinker, smoker, stoner or regular user of any other drugs? Many prescribed and recreational drugs can prolong the time it takes to orgasm. So I’d rule this out first. 

But if there are no substances that might be responsible, the next thing to look at is his wanking habits. Does it take him 1+ hour to jack off? Or has that remained a quick process? If he’s able to masturbate to completion quickly then that tells us a couple of things. Firstly, it means he’s able to cum quick, meaning his long lasting in sex is likely either a psychological issue or a masturbatory technique issue. Secondly, it means we have a solution.

On a psychological level, it may be that consciously or unconsciously he’s prolonging time to orgasm with a partner. On a technical level, it may be that he is used to masturbating in a way that is not replicable by partnered sex. For example, he could be gripping his dick extremely hard when wanking, and after years of this habituated it to this sensation. Your vagina, of course, cannot mimic a clenched fist even if you kegel like a pro, and so his penis isn’t getting the intense grip that it is used to. This issue can be rectified by him abstaining from masturbation for longer than a few days, and then returning to it with a looser grip. Taking an extended break from wanking may also help if it is a psychological effect. 

But most of all, if he can rub himself to completion in a few minutes, this is the solution to your problem. You don’t have to wait for your boyfriend to orgasm while he’s still inside you. He can pull out and finish himself off at any point. It still counts as sex. You don’t have to leave the room, you are still a part of it. Meanwhile, you can kiss him (or his balls) and experiment with finding different places for him to ejaculate. 

I hope one of these solutions works for you, and am sure one will. But if not, get back in touch and I can offer another approach. Good luck and give your poor vagina a hug from me.

 

Posted on May 26, 2017 and filed under MALE ORGASM.

Depression vs. Libido

"I need a bit of advice. I have been suffering from a low libido for months now. I know droughts are normal and usually due to lifestyle circumstances like stress,anxiety and depression which is likely to affect everyone at some point. However, my sex drive has been so low for so long and despite the fact that I love and am attracted to my boyfriend, when it comes down to it I just feel so exhausted, even if ive barely left the house that day. I know it wont last forever, but I was wondering if you had any tips or suggestions that might help me get my libido back on track."

Posted on October 16, 2016 .

Small bumps on his dick. Is he cheating on me?

I haven’t told him about the lumps yet because I don’t want to scare him or make him feel self-conscious about it. Plus I want to know what it is before confronting him about it. Do you know what these lumps are? If it is an STD does it mean he’s been cheating on me? And what is the likelihood that I have contracted it also, from unprotected sex and blowjobs?

I have a huge dick - How can I make sex less painful for my partner?

I’ve been seeing a really great girl for about 6 months now. The issue is, and always been, I have a much larger than average sized penis. I know it’s supposed to be a good thing and all, but it's really been a curse more than a blessing and particularly with the girl I’m seeing now. Regardless of how much foreplay we have the sex has been really awkward. Often she's in pain or really uncomfortable. I tried talking to her about it but she’s not comfortable discussing the details. I do use lots of lube but it doesn't last. Have you got any tips or advice? I love sex, but I don't want there to be this disconnect. I must sound like a tool but any advice is appreciated.

Am I bad at Tinder or am I just unattractive?

"I saw something you posted on twitter about how a third of people on Tinder had sex within 6 hours and I’m writing to you because I must be in the other two thirds because I’ve had no success on tinder at all.  I’m a guy, I have 3 photos and a short bio.  I’ve gotten matches and even set up a couple of dates, but everything has fallen through and I’ve literally never met anyone off it.  I think it’s time to just give up and delete the app but I thought I’d ask first if you know what I could be doing wrong?  Or if it’s more likely that I’m just unattractive… thanks."

Posted on May 13, 2016 and filed under DATING APPS.

How do I shave my butthole?

I have just discovered I have hair growing around my arsehole and all the way up my crack.  I literally had no idea until my boyfriend pointed it out.  I have since tried to look in the mirror, and he is completely right. Obviously this is really humiliating and I am not doing doggie anymore! And I am not going to ask my friends about this, so I’m asking you: what do I do to get rid of this, and how can I avoid the problems that come with shaving my vagina every other day?

Posted on May 1, 2016 and filed under PUBES, RELATIONSHIP.

I was just told I have genital herpes - How do I cope with this?

"I recently turned 24 and as an unexpected (and very welcomed) surprise, I was told I have genital herpes.   
Before I got this infection, I knew very little about it, except that it was "second worst after HIV/AIDS virus". When I was told the news I could not believe it and life plans, goals and aspirations flew right out the clinics window."

Posted on April 27, 2016 and filed under STI.

My boyfriend says another girls name during sex

My boyfriend and I have been together just under a year and I'd say we are very close and loved up. The relationship is going really well and most of the time I’m very happy and secure in it. My problem is that on a couple of occasions he's said another girls name during sex. A girl that he used to see right before we got together… It really upsets me and puts doubts in my mind about whether he really wants to be with me. He says it doesn't mean anything but I'm not sure if that’s possible? Can you help?My boyfriend and I have been together just under a year and I'd say we are very close and loved up. The relationship is going really well and most of the time I’m very happy and secure in it. My problem is that on a couple of occasions he's said another girls name during sex. A girl that he used to see right before we got together… It really upsets me and puts doubts in my mind about whether he really wants to be with me. He says it doesn't mean anything but I'm not sure if that’s possible? Can you help?

Posted on April 21, 2016 and filed under RELATIONSHIP.

Butt Sex: Just don't worry about it.

My boyfriend of 4 years really wants to do it in the butt. I would love to do this for him but I'm afraid its going to hurt too much , as we've tried before..I'm also worried about the uncleanliness of it and if an accident were to happen... What do you suggest? 

Posted on April 14, 2016 and filed under ANAL.