How can I get my boyfriend to stop watching porn and masturbating?

Q

Hi Pro Boner

I recently found out that my boyfriend of just over a year still masturbates almost every day.  I found a document on his laptop with links to porn videos and when I confronted him about it he admitted that he watches porn and jacks off most days.

I am pissed off because even after a year we have sex every time we see each other (3-6 times a week).  I’m double pissed off because I think porn is disgusting and degrading and I have told him this before.  I have also sent him naked pics that I assumed he would be using for masturbation, NOT these porn clips.  I’m triple pissed off because of the links that I clicked on, the girls in the videos were really plastic looking with fake boobs and hair etc.  and really far from what I am like and what I thought he found attractive.

I have asked him to delete this document and he has agreed, but he says he will still watch porn and masturbate.  Am I wrong to be upset about this?  How can I get him to stop?

A

Oh sweetheart, you can't...   Everyone has a right to masturbate.  Even in a relationship.  Some people masturbate as a substitution for partnered sex, but I would argue that for most people, lone masturbation is a separate thing all together.

What happens in your boyfriend’s erotic imagination and his web browser while he is masturbating is unlikely to be a threat to your relationship.

Your boyfriend masturbating near enough every day is not unusual at all, and is NOT evidence of him being unsatisfied with the sex that you’re having together.

Whilst I’m sure he has appreciated your nude photos, and probably has used them as masturbatory material, people often like to watch strangers having sex (rather than stare at a photo of their partner) during masturbation.  Whilst this may initially feel like an insult to your attractiveness, it simply isn’t.  It's just a wank.

Peoples masturbatory habits often have little or nothing to do with their real life preferences.  Just because he enjoys big plastic tits and blonde extensions in porn, it doesn’t mean that's what he enjoys in reality.  In reality I think he probably likes having sex with you.

Having him delete this document isn’t achieving anything, except forcing him to painstakingly trawl the internet to find all his favourite porn links again.

 

PS. Stop snooping on your boyfriends computer


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Posted on December 28, 2015 .