Butt Virgin


Dear P.B,

My long term boyfriend is really into butts and always asking me if we can try anal sex, I'm not against it and would love to give him my butt virginity but I'm quite apprehensive... does it hurt? how do i prepare? will my butt collapse? what if i poop on him? I'm desperate for some knowledge and advice as it's something new I'd like for us to try.


I don’t know when I became the butthole expert, but at least 50% of my inbox is anal related.  I’m guessing no one listened when I said just don’t worry about it.

If you’re happy and comfortable to give butt sex a go then the best thing you can do is relax!  Take a look at this recent question I answered regarding the risks involved with anal, and how you can avoid them.

The other thing I would recommend is not jumping straight in to full on penis in the butthole penetrative sex.  There is a good chance it will hurt or feel uncomfortable, so before you even attempt that you should prepare yourself (alone or with your boyfriend) by becoming familiar with the sensations and working out what feels good and what doesn’t.

You can play around with toys of different lengths and diameters, and work out angles and positions that feel good.  Try different types of foreplay, different types of lube, and work out things like ‘hey does it feel better when I rub my clit?’

You can actually get specifically designed ‘anal training’ kits.  But you could just purchase separate butt toys of different shapes and sizes, which I recommend because you can actually choose toys that you like and that work for you.  Make sure whatever you use has a FLARED BASE so that you don't loose in your rectum.

In terms of poop, there’s not much I can say.  It’s your butthole and it’s where poop comes out.   If you’re planning in advance to get down to some anal play then eat sensibly, and take extra care in the shower to give it a little scrub. 

There are tools you can use to clean up further inside.  I heard porn star Asa Akira say on a podcast that the day before an anal scene she spends hours on her bathroom floor repeatedly doing enemas.  But you have to remember it’s her job, and I don’t think it’s reasonable for regular sex to take a day of preparation.  I’m also not convinced of the safety of repeated use of enemas and douches.


Posted on July 18, 2015 .