She's gone cold. Was it my sexual performance and what should I do?


I am seeing a girl on and off at the moment, but she has gone cold lately. I worried it's my sexual performance which may have turned her off.

I'm now working abroad, so we won't see each other for three months. What should I do? Keep trying to ignite the flame, or give up and move on?



Unfortunately a major part of dating is people going cold on you and not giving you a fucking reason why.  

If you reckon your sexual performance had something to do with it, then I'm gonna guess you either didn't stay hard, or came real quick.  

Both these things happen to everyone at some point, and most women have had to deal with it before.  The worst things you can do in response is a.) get pissed off, or b.) not say anything.  If you don't say anything the girl will go in to 'worst case scenario' mode and assume that either you can NEVER fuck properly, or that there was something wrong with HER that affected your performance.

The other ways in which your sex could have been a deal breaker are:  you have a gross dick, you smell weird, you sweat loads, you have weird sex faces/noises or something along these lines. You can rectify these things by washing and asking people if your dick/face/grunts are weird.

But if neither of those things happened, and you're sure that none of the above apply to you, I would be really surprised if sex was the reason for her distancing herself.  Within any type of relationship you expect sex to improve with time and practice, and not to be bang on from the start.  There would have to be a glaring inconsistency in your sexual compatibility for it to have been a deal breaker so early on.

The reason for her going a little cold probably has little to do with your sexing, and might not even have anything to do with you at all.

I would send her ONE message (no more than this seriously dude) and just get straight to the point.  Tell her you still like her and want to see her, and that you're getting the feeling she's not interested, could she tell you if this is correct and maybe tell you why?  She probably wont tell you why, especially if the reason IS something like weird sex noises.  But at least this way you can gauge if she is still a bit interested or completely uninterested.

Whatever she says, enjoy working abroad for 3 months, and fuck some gals who enjoy fucking you back.  Get lots of practice, and then if she is still in to you, you can meet up in a few months and fuck the shit out of her.

In 3 months give her a shout and see if there's anything there, but you don't gotta work at anything in the mean time if she's not reciprocating.    

Posted on June 5, 2015 .