FOOT FETISH LIAR

Q

My boyfriend has what I guess could be described as a foot fetish? I'm a straight female in my early twenties and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 6 months. Everything is great except for this one thing I'm having an issue with. I work a job where I'm on my feet most of the day and my boyfriend would give me regular foot massages to alleviate some of the tension. I loved this part of our relationship until recently when he admitted to me that he has a foot fetish. That meant he wasn't giving me these massages for me but rather because it turned him on. I just can't get over the fact that he lied to me for so long while he was doing this. Now I don't want him to even touch my feet at all. How do we move on from this?

A

Your boyfriend didn't exactly lie to you by keeping his foot fetish a secret. He likely waited six months to inform you because he thought it would scare you off to disclose it sooner, and he may have been correct. Sexual interest in feet is SUPER common and it's certainly not a dangerous or weird fetish to have. But still, people can be very judgemental and negative about it

I think the fact that you were enjoying these massages on perhaps a different level than he was for all this time is a strange thing to get your head around, but I don't think it constitutes a real betrayal. Would you have rejected these massages if you had known from the start that he was extra in to it? You experienced a pleasure and benefit from these massages and I think it's sad for you to loose that just because he's attracted to your feet. Massage is an intimate act that often works as foreplay, so I don't think he was deliberately keeping information from you in order to take advantage of your feet. It's reasonable to assume that massage between partners may lead to arousal regardless of fetish.

I think it's important that you work out how much of your feelings are about the fact he witheld his foot fetish, or the fact that you find his foot fetish unsettling? You should spend some time talking to him about how you feel he tricked you because he was gaining some kind of sexual pleasure from these massages, but you should also find out why he chose not to disclose it until later in the relationship. And you should listen to what he really has to say. 

Then if you're interested in continuing the relationship, you should do a little research on foot fetishism and see if it's something you're willing to play a part in. You never know, you might end up being a massive foot slut. 

If everything is great this would be a really silly reason to end things. You should enjoy these well needed massages and be happy that he is enjoying them too.