My boyfriend is too impatient for foreplay

Q

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while now, when it comes to the bedroom he is fantastic. But he is impatient and doesn't always get me prepped. 
Is there anything we can do to get us both ready for sex? Other than lube of course.

A

There is a little problem with your first two sentences there.  I don’t think it’s possible to be 'fantastic' in bed at the same time as being too impatient to get your girlfriend ready to be penetrated.  That’s just rude and you should tell him off.

Lube will obviously lubricate the vag area and help penetration and humping to go a little smoother.  But getting ‘prepped’ for sex isn’t just about getting wet.  A lot of other things happen to female genitalia when we get aroused, and these things help sex feel good, so they shouldn’t be neglected. 

Here are some of the things that happens to ladies during sexual arousal:

  • Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration rate increases
  • Labia minora and clitoris darken and swell
  • Labia major separate
  • Boobs swell and nipples erect
  • The walls of the vagina lubricate and lengthen
  • AND MORE

I’m not saying that every time you have sex your boyfriend should take all the time in the world to make sure that these things are happening.  I’m definitely not suggesting that he takes a ruler to your labia to check you're ready for penetration.  Because you know what, some people like to just get straight down to it.  Some people like the extra friction that comes with a dry vag.  And some people like their arousal to increase whilst they’re actually having sex.

What I AM saying though, is that rather than just reaching for the lube, you should try together to get yourself more aroused before he enters you

Just try it a couple of times and see if it makes the experience more enjoyable for you and for him, and I bet it will.  In terms of what you can do to get ‘prepped’ it’s down to the individual.  For some women, just a little making out and dry humping is enough, whereas for others they might require 20 mins of oral.  You just have to see what works for you as a couple.

And ask your boyfriend if he would like to try and stuff his flaccid dick in to you?  He probably won’t want to, because he might not be fully aroused, he might not like the sensation, it might hurt, and his genitals are not in the appropriate state for penetration.

Let him know that even though his dick can potentially be stuffed in to your unprepared vagina, just the same, you might not be fully aroused, you might not like the sensation, it might hurt, and your genitals are not in the appropriate state for penetration.