Can you please explain what squirting is and how to squirt?
I have friends who have told me they’ve done it before or do it regularly. And to be honest I'm kind of jealous because they say it can feel better than a regular orgasm.
I am in a relationship and regularly orgasm with my boyfriend. He has asked before if I can squirt for him or how he can make me do it and I’m really at a loss... I’ve heard in some places that it’s not possible for all women, and I’ve also heard that it’s not even a real thing and is literally just pissing.
Can you help?
Squirting is a real thing. BUT sadly we know almost nothing about it (research funding rarely goes towards woman's pleasure). Scientists are slowly trying to work it all out though, and unfortunately research that has been published has been very poorly recounted to the public.
Fairly recently a study was widely reported in the media with tag lines such as “Women who squirt are really just peeing”. These articles were really misleading (the study btw was based on findings from only 7 women) and made a lot of squirters feel really bad, and a lot of non-squirters feel smug.
Studies actually show that “squirt” or female ejaculate, usually has a distinct chemical composition to urine. And while there is present many of the same compounds as found in urine, there are also chemical similarities with male ejaculate. So it does seem likely that squirt is a distinct fluid emission.
Also for what it’s worth, anecdotally those who squirt or are in the presence of squirting, often report that the smell, look and taste is different than that of pee.
However, I also think that if future research does conclude that squirting is a sexually provoked involuntary emission of urine, it doesn’t fucking matter. If it’s a sensation that is pleasurable to you, then go ahead and piss-gasm.
Some say every woman has the capability to squirt, and some say they don’t. The truth is of course we don’t know… If I were to guess I would say that it’s likely we can all do it if we want to, with patience and practice.
In reference to your 'how to squirt', I'm again afraid that we don't really have a solid answer. Back in the day I was lead to believe that it was only possible from G-spot stimulation, but now I have heard from many women who squirt from intense clitoral stimulation.
Here are the best tips I can offer to get you squirting:
- Doing kegels is associated with increased chances of squirting (kegel exercises are also linked to generally stronger and more frequent orgasms - so you might as well do them anyway).
- Actually going for a wee right before you try and squirt is a great way to prepare. As the feeling of approaching squirting can feel much like the feeling of needing to urinate, people often pull back when they get close. If your bladder is empty, then when that sensation arises, you should feel more confident in your ability to relax in to it and let it flow without being worried that you're about to pee.
- Although intense clitoral stimulation might work for you, it does seem like the majority of squirters get there via G-spot stimulation. So your best chance may be starting here. Your boyfriend can assist by using his fingers in the “come hither” motion, with a fair amount of pressure, and probably for a reasonably long period of time. (If you, or he, haven’t located your G-spot yet you need to take some time to work that out first).
- I would also recommend that you first try to squirt on your own, when you are under the least pressure to perform. You probably wont be able to do the come hither motion on yourself because... anatomy, so it’s best to get your hands on a good sturdy g-spot toy, such as the Lelo Mona II.
- Use the toy to find and apply pressure to your g-spot, try rocking the toy back and forth, side-to-side, and in small circles, until you find something that feels interesting to you. Once you find that spot and that pressure and that movement KEEP AT IT for as long as it takes until you feel like you need a wee, and then wooooooo let it go. Congratulations. You just squirted.
P.S. If you don't manage it, don't worry. Squirting is not superior to a 'regular' orgasm.