Dear Pro Boner,
I have recently come out of a relationship and am absolutely loving being single. I love doing me. But the problem is a girls got needs!
I am really interested in getting into a no strings fuck buddy kind of thang but they never seem to work out that way, They always seem to want more??
So I have two questions...
1. How do I find a potential suitor for a no strings gig (not just a one night stand)
2. How do you keep a no strings ,, no strings? Should there be rules?
Congrats on being happy in your new single life! It sounds like coming out of a relationship was definitely the right move for you.
A big misconception exists whereby people don't believe that females desire casual sex, or that they can even handle it. This is bullshit, and it really comes down to individual differences between people. There are plenty of chicks who just wanna fuck and plenty of dudes who hate one night stands.
SO if NSA (no strings attached) is for you, then here is my advice:
1. Do you have any friends you'd like to fuck? If you've already established a friendship with someone you're already half way to friends with benefits.
2. Use Tinder and other dating apps. A good way to meet new people quickly and decide if any are worth your time and vagina.
3. Whoever you choose to get in to a FWB/NSA relationship with, make sure there's a level of trust and they are decent and respectful towards you. Unfortunately some men find it difficult to have respect for women who have casual sex, even if they're the one having sex with the women. These men don't deserve casual sex. Shop around and find someone who understands that you're still entering in to a relationship involving mutual respect, even if sex is the only other thing you share.
4. Rules and boundaries are good as long as they're reasonable. Avoid activities that evoke romantic feelings. Avoid sleep overs. Avoid seeing each other too regularly. But don't be so extreme with the rules that you can't hang out and have fun. Remember the friend part of FWBs.
5. Feelings and emotions are real and unavoidable, but you do have a level of control over them. Clear and honest communication from the start are crucial to making it work. If you feel like they are getting more emotionally attached, end it quickly to spare their feelings later on. If you feel like you are, then make a choice to either tell them, or end things. But DON'T hang around hoping that they will eventually catch feelings too.
6. Finally if they always seem to want more, you're going to have to stop being so good at sex. Maybe just do one gross thing every time you see each other to stop them falling in love.*
Hope that helps!
*This is risky and can make them love you more.